Relationships

Risk-benefit analysis of sleeping with your mentee, post-doc, or *cough* student

I apologise for referring to the junior person as “she” throughout this post, and assuming that the senior one is a “he”. I know this is only one of many possible situations, and much of what I say applies to any of the others too. This is going to be a complicated post, so I summarised my recommendations in a… Read more →

My Mom

Happy Mother’s Day three weeks ago, everyone! After a long hiatus, I meant to write something for the holiday that won’t traumatise you. Late as always, here’s a light-hearted post about the person who pushed me bum-first into this world. My Mom. Devoted. Introverted. Pragmatic. Perfectionist. Once, a long time ago, I was unfaithful to a partner, and when in the ensuing… Read more →

The road to divorce is lined with societal expectations

Pink, Pixie and I have just returned from a two-month tour of the world where we caught up with countless friends and family members, many of whom are parents of young children. When you only see someone face to face once or twice a year, there is always an element of surprise: bellies have turned into babies, last year’s infants… Read more →

How to fail at relationships

I should have written this post for Valentine’s day. A little while ago a good friend of mine, who has been happily coupled to his now-wife since they were 20 years old, asked me how one messes up a relationship. (I hope he wasn’t looking for practical advice.) More specifically, he said: At the beginning, all you want to do… Read more →

Young love

After the recent death of the great Leonard Cohen, I binge-listened to his songs for about a week. Music, like scents, can bring up a lot of memories. I came to know Mr. Cohen’s music when I was about 17, and many of his songs resonated well with my teenage anxieties about love and intimacy. When I think about my… Read more →